ROYGBIV
by BerkieLynn
Summary: A journey through the colors of the rainbow and the chakras from root to crown. Each chapter strives to balance the chakra it represents for our characters.
1. Red - Muladhara

_AN: This fic is dedicated to Jennifer who gave me the harmless prompt of "Story with a focus around a single color" that I turned into this._

_This fic will be 7 chapters, one for every color of the rainbow and for each chakra from root to crown. The chapters are inspired by the lesson of the chakra that the color represents and the events of the chapter strive to balance that chakra. This isn't Beckett and Castle finding spirituality however; the characters aren't modeling their actions toward that goal, that's what I'm writing them towards._

_Come with me on this journey, won't you?_

* * *

**Red - Muladhara**

* * *

Running always helped her think. She would put in ear buds, start a playlist full of bouncy pop music, and let it all melt away as she ran. With every stretch of muscle, every bead of sweat, every satisfying strike of sneaker on concrete, her thoughts became less frantic, more grounded. She had learned in college that a good run after a study session connected all the information in her brain into a cohesive set of knowledge that she could then withdraw at will. It was a trick she took with her as she made it to detective and countless cases had been solved in the middle of a path in the park.

She wasn't running to solve a case right now though. And she wasn't running from anything either. No, really, she wasn't. She wasn't, right?

Damn it.

Kate stopped mid-stride causing glares from some of the other runners as they side-stepped around her. Not that she noticed, deep in thought as she was.

She was running away.

She had started the run hoping that it would clear her thoughts but at some point, her fight-or-flight response had flipped to flight. She tugged the cord to her ear buds, popping them from her ears as she pulled the cord free from the phone and stuffed them in her jacket pocket. She swiped at the screen to unlock the phone, pausing her playlist, she opened her text messages, the message that had encouraged the run shining up at her.

_Come over for dinner?_

Four little, innocent words that shouldn't elicit panic, especially when they were coming from her wonderful partner. But she knew. It wasn't just dinner. He was hoping for an answer.

And she had one. One that she was terrified of. But wasn't she better than this now? Didn't she want to be better than this? Didn't she work her ass off in therapy to not do this anymore? Her damn ingrained habits had horrible timing. But she knew that they weren't who she was now.

_Almost done with a run. I'll shower and be over soon. _She tapped the answer in confidently, pressed send with no hesitation.

The reply came as she was reattaching the ear buds. _Looking forward to it. _A grin stole across her face of its own volition.

It was time to stop running from; the rest of this journey was running to.

* * *

She used her key to enter the loft, only the third time she had done so and the first time that he was home when she did. It always felt like an intrusion to her, even with the open invitation that had been extended on multiple occasions.

Castle looked up in surprise from behind the kitchen island as she entered but that surprise was quickly replaced with a smile that lit up his entire being. It crinkled around his eyes, the blue luminous in the map of his face. She couldn't help but reciprocate as she set her duffel bag down in the entry with a heavy thud. He placed the lid back on the pot on the stove and wiped his hands on a towel before he made his way to her.

"You used your key," he stated as he wound an arm around her waist, pulled her against him.

"I did," she replied, pressing her lips into his smiling mouth, reveling the feeling of his warm lips embracing hers. She sighed into him, wrapped her arms around his neck and nudged her tongue between his willing lips. He tightened his arms around her back, aligning the angles of their bodies together.

"I could get used to that kind of welcome," she breathed when they parted. He raised an eyebrow at her in question but she was already extracting herself from his arms and lifting her duffle. He reached for the handle of the bag but she deftly kept it out of his reach. "I got it, you finish dinner."

She settled the strap over her shoulder and headed for the bedroom. By the lack of retreating footsteps behind her, she knew that he was watching her go and so she threw a little more sway into her hips before rounding the corner. His laughter bounced off the walls, the move clearly had not gone unnoticed.

He was back at the stove when she entered the kitchen, ladling their dinner into bowls. She came around the counter to stand next to him and leaned a hip on the counter.

"Beef stew," he supplied when she leaned over to peer at the pot's contents. "That okay?"

"Smells fantastic."

A pleased smile broke across his face. "Oh, there's bread, too!" he exclaimed, turned towards the oven, grabbed the oven mitt off the counter and pulled out a sheet with a loaf of crusty bread on it. He slid it into a waiting basket and turned back to find his girlfriend smiling at him, a closed lipped thing that implied that she was suppressing most of her mirth. "What?"

She shook her head, the smile slipping off her face. "Nothing. Just…" she hesitated, dropped her eyes. "Just nothing." She grabbed the bowls of stew off the counter and headed for the dining table.

He followed her, bread in hand. "Kate?" he questioned softly as he came up behind her. She set the bowls on table and settled herself in a chair. At a loss, he put the bread down and took a chair himself. She was fiddling a spoon in her bowl, eyes still cast downward. Her other hand was balled in a fist on the table. He reached across and flipped her hand over, wiggled his fingers in her palm to loosen hers and then entwined their hands, giving her an encouraging squeeze.

She smiled at their joined hands on the table before lifting her eyes to him. "You just looked so domestic."

"Well, it is my domicile," he quipped, glad for the eye roll that he earned in response.

"Okay, so, I wanted this to be a surprise, wanted you to figure it out in your time own but c'mon." She stood, continuing the hold on his hand.

He gladly complied, rising to follow her. "I like surprises."

She hummed a laugh. "I know. I think you'll be a fan of this one." She knew the moment that he figured out she was leading him to the bedroom because suddenly he was crowding her back, his warmth suffusing through her shirt. At the doorway, he dropped her hand and wound his arms around her stomach, dipped his head to nip at her earlobe.

"Is this a sexy surprise?" His voice was low and rough in her ear and made the want in her belly flare to life. She did her best to suppress a shiver but wasn't entirely successful, she could feel him smirking against her neck.

She shoved his hands off her (it was impossible to think and form words when his fingers were running under her shirt like that) and moved into the room, perched herself on the edge of the bed. "Not this time. Ask closer to your birthday though." His eyes darkened with lust even further and he started stalking towards her; she held up a hand to halt his progress. "Not why we're here right now."

His brow furrowed in confusion. "Why are we here then?"

"Use your detective skills. Explore the scene, figure it out." She motioned around the room, his eyes following her hands as though she was pointing at specific things. "Prove that you've followed me around for years for research and not," her eyes ran a trip down his body, "other reasons."

* * *

He could do this. Prove that he'd learned more than her coffee order and what spots on her body made her squirm with delicious pleasure. He stood up a little straighter, crossed his arms over his chest and fixed her with a studious look. "You're on, detective."

One of her indescribable smiles shone back at him, this one had amusement and…pride maybe? At herself or him, he wasn't sure.

He tried his best to ignore the beautiful woman sitting on his bed and swept his eyes around the room. Nothing immediately jumped out at him but he was looking too big picture. Take it space by space, work the grid. The closet was at his right and seemed as good a place as any to start. What was he looking for anyway?

"Um, what am I looking for?" he vocalized.

"Clues," was all she would offer. He narrowed his eyes at her and she giggled at him. Kate Beckett giggled at him from his own bed. And he was supposed to be looking for clues and not kissing her right now, why? "Weren't you gonna check the closet?" she asked and he realized that he'd just been staring at her. She smirked at him.

"Damn infuriating woman," he muttered as he turned into the closet in question. She giggled in his wake and the sound had joy licking up his spine. He would gladly play her game to hear that sound from her.

He glanced around inside the closet and a few things stood out. A dress of hers hung up, a few blazers and work shirts. In fact, the rung that he had cleared off for her had more clothes on it than it ever had in the past. The spaces beneath held a good selection of her shoes as well. Not everything, but…

"Staying for a while?" he asked upon reentering the room.

She shrugged non-committally. "Never know what I might need."

"Do I get to know now?" he asked eagerly.

"You have enough clues to form a theory?" He opened his mouth but she rushed to add, "One that doesn't involve a shadowy governmental body or fantasy creatures?"

He closed his mouth on a huff. "Ruining all my fun," he grumbled as he headed towards the bathroom.

"Oh, I don't know, I'm having plenty of fun."

He tried his best to glare at her but from the laugh the look elicited, he was sure it was a failure. He turned his back and entered the bathroom. At first sweep, things seemed to be mostly in order. And they were orderly but there were more of them. He noticed a few bottles of bubble bath on the edge of the tub that he knew were from her place, including her favorite bottle of sandalwood oil. Her electric toothbrush was on the counter by the sink; a quick check showed that the manual one he'd given her to use here was in the trash can. He pulled open the drawer that he had cleared for her and found make-up organized in trays and little baskets. All of her make-up by the look of it.

Something like hope bloomed in his chest, warm and happy. But he had to be sure, had to have solid evidence before he presented it to her.

He looked in the shower and found full sized bottles of her products had replaced the travel sized ones she'd brought over a few weeks into their relationship claiming that his "boy shampoo" just wasn't cutting it. A closer inspection showed that they weren't new bottles either; it was like she had brought them from her place.

When he backed out of the shower and turned around, she was standing at the doorway, leaning against the frame. The fingers of one hand were trying to hide a smile but it was a futile effort because there was nothing to be done about the sparkling in her eyes.

He opened his mouth, thought better of it, closed it again. She raised an eyebrow at him and that almost encouraged him to speak but then he remembered one other thing, the piece of evidence that would prove this for him. He held up his index finger at her and rushed past her back into the bedroom.

* * *

He moved so quickly that she didn't have time to react and scrambled to push herself off the doorframe to follow. She found him exactly where she expected.

He was standing at the dresser, reverently running his fingers along the edges of the wooden box; the happy faces of her parents smiled up at him. His eyes flicked to hers and he asked, "May I?" She nodded. He lifted to lid to see the tools of her trade. They were all there; the gun and badge, of course, but the necklace that she only occasionally wore now was also lying in wait as was the watch that he didn't even notice wasn't on her wrist this evening. He lowered the lid and turned to her.

"So this is, um, here because…?" His voice was rough, she could see the moisture gathering in his eyes and it caused an immediate lump in own throat that she had to swallow down before she could answer.

"So that when I come home, I have somewhere to put my things."

"Home," he parroted. She nodded, lifted the corners of her mouth encouragingly. "So, all this is a yes?"

Her smile broke free, joy limning the parentheses of her mouth, leaking out of the corners of her eyes. "Case solved," she replied, the words barely out of her mouth before his arms were around her, his mouth hot on hers, claiming her affirmation. He broke off, leaned his forehead on hers, breath hitching in his chest.

She ran a hand through his hair, scratching lightly at his scalp before cupping the back of his head. Her other hand ran soothingly up and down his bicep. "I can assume this is all okay?"

He breathed out a laugh, warm air caressing her face. "That would be a safe assumption."

"It's obviously just a start, I couldn't fit too much into that duffel and I didn't want to tip you off-" He stopped her words with a hard kiss.

"Kate, I don't care how your things get here. I'll hire movers, we can beg the boys and pay them in pizza and beer if you'd rather. How your things get here isn't the important part. I want _you_ here."

"I'm here, I'm right here." She buried her face in his neck, wound her arms around his shoulders to anchor herself there. His hands splayed wide on her back, holding them together.

She felt it deep in herself, at her core and knew; this is where she would ground her roots, shape the rest of her life, create their home.

* * *

_Root or Base Chakra_

_Colour Association: Red_

_Sanskrit Name: Muladhara_

_Location: Base of spine, coccyx_

_Lesson: Survival–The right to exist. Deals with tasks related to the material and physical world. Ability to stand up for oneself and security issues._

_Imbalances: Anemia, fatigue, lower back pain, sciatica, depression. Frequent colds or cold hands and cold feet._

_Root Stimulants: Physical exercise and restful sleeps, gardening, pottery and clay. Red food & drink. Red gemstones, red clothing, bathing in red, etc. Using red oils such as ylang ylang or sandalwood essential oils._

_(From www . chakraenergy . com)_


	2. Orange - Svadisthana

**Orange - Svadisthana**

* * *

Kate wandered into the kitchen, unsure what she was headed for. She stood in the pantry for a few minutes but none of the crackers or cookies looked appetizing. She moved on to the refrigerator, toes curling into the hardwood as the frigid air flowed out. Grapes, maybe? Or strawberries? Both with some cheese?

"If you were too hot, you could have just adjusted the thermostat." Castle's amused voice came from the other side of the fridge door and she closed it guiltily. "This is the fourth time in the last hour that you've scavenged though the kitchen." It was an observation, not an accusation.

She dropped her eyes, worrying the hem of her shirt between her fingers. "I might…" she started, her voice thin. She took a deep breath, shoved down the hesitation. "It's possible that I'm nervous." She was proud that it was said on a strong voice.

He stepped into her space and put his hands on her shoulders. "Say the word and I'll call Paula to tell her it's off. Nothing says you have to do this." His eyes were screaming comfort and she fell a little more in love with him for being so damn understanding. But his suggestion was the opposite of what she wanted.

"No, I don't wanna put this off anymore. I'm tired of having to look over my shoulder all the time. I can't even hold your hand on the sidewalk." She ran her fingertips up his sides, splayed her fingers at his ribs. "And I know we've talked about it and this could make us targets but after tonight, they won't be photographing anything that everyone doesn't already know."

"It would be nice to at least be able to kiss you on the cheek in public," he muttered.

She ran her arms around his back, pulled her body up against his and tipped her head up so she didn't say this to his chest. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have put this off for so long."

He waved a hand dismissively. "We've both been putting it off. There were a few other events that Paula recommended but I didn't even see the emails until after they happened. Gotta say though, I still think I would have picked this one. Seems like kismet."

She never believed in fate and destiny before him, but his magic was infectious. She pillowed her head on his chest. "It does seem rather appropriate."

"Yeah," he breathed, winding an arm around her shoulders and tangling his other hand in her hair.

They stayed like that for a long moment, just embracing in the kitchen before she pulled back. "We have a few hours, right?"

"Yeah, at least four until the car gets here."

"I'm gonna take a bath then, just try to relax."

"Want company?" His question was paired with a raised eyebrow and the hint of a leer.

"That might defeat the purpose of relaxing."

"Hey, sex can be relaxing!" His defense was immediately punctuated with a yelp as she pinched his side.

She rubbed her fingers soothingly against the offended spot, rose up on the balls of her feet and bunched his shirt in her other hand against his chest for leverage. "I'm sure I'll need relaxed at the end of the night, too. I'll gladly take help then." She pressed her lips to his in a heated kiss, pushed her tongue against his teeth, seeking entry. He happily complied, giving back as much as he took. She gentled her pace, drawing them both back, couldn't help one last nip at his bottom lip that elicited a groan from him.

"This is you _dis_couraging me from joining you?"

She chuckled at him and, though she didn't mean to tease, she was sure that her smile was more than a little mischievous. "Just a promise for later." She dropped back down to the floor, withdrew her hands as she went and turned to leave the kitchen. His hands trailed her waist until she was out of reach; she threw a smirk over her shoulder as she went.

She loves that he can't keep his hands off her because she can't keep hers off him.

* * *

After perusing the collection of bubble bath in the closet, she settled on an orange and ginger scent. The bottle said it was supposed to be energizing but the brightness of the orange burned away some of the nervous energy as soon as she sniffed it and so into the tub it went. She made the water too hot on purpose, the heat a shock that helped her to reset. She didn't take a book, wasn't sure she could focus on one, and instead used the time just to breathe and clear her mind.

She found herself doing deep yoga breathing, in and out through the nose, focused on spots that needed relaxed and draining the tension from her muscles on the exhale.

Yes, this is exactly what she needed.

* * *

Kate emerged a little while later in sweatpants and a tee shirt, the ridiculously fuzzy robe that Castle had unceremoniously left hanging on the back of the bathroom door about a month after she moved in tied tight around her middle. She found him in the office sprawled on the couch, idly flipping channels on the TV. He turned his head and gave her a soft smile as she padded over to him, sitting up to give her room to join him. But she surprised him by settling on his lap, drawing her legs up and snuggling her head on his shoulder. He chuckled as he drew his arms around her, dropped a kiss on her still damp hair.

"Are you laughing at me?" she mumbled.

"Yes," he admitted. "But only because you're adorable."

"Mmm-kay." She adjusted so her arm wasn't squished at a weird angle and ended up snuggling deeper into his side. She closed her eyes and tucked her forehead against his neck, her nose at his collarbone.

He let out a breath of deep contentment and tightened his arms around her. "Feeling better?" he whispered and she startled in surprise. He laughed again, a low chuckle that vibrated both their bodies. "Beckett, you falling asleep on me?"

She lifted her head and couldn't stop the yawn that cracked her jaw open. "Apparently, I am."

"Do you have time for a nap?"

"Not really. I should probably be curling my hair right now."

Paula had talked Kate into borrowing a dress (though Kate made the stipulation that it come from a small name New York designer that needed the press) but all offers for hair and make-up artists were refused. She said she "didn't want someone else's perception of beauty painted all over" her. She got a huge kiss for that one.

"Then what are you waiting for? Get to it, woman!" He made a whip-cracking noise, jerking his hand with the sound.

She was just relaxed enough to be amused by his actions but tried for a disapproving face. He only grinned in response, far too pleased with himself.

It was a herculean effort, but she managed to extract herself from his embrace and sit up. He was laughing at her again. She shot him a glare but she was so rumpled and relaxed that it was one of the most adorable things he'd ever seen.

"Nice try," he commended, pressing a kiss to her cheek.

She shook her head at him, any bit of annoyance she might have felt melting away. "You're lucky I love you."

"Yeah, I am." His voice was soft and low, filled with awe and love.

He really could be the sappiest thing ever and she had long ago realized that she was powerless to resist it. She turned her head and pressed a heated kiss to his lips, a moan escaping her throat as he tangled his hands in her hair and deepened the kiss. She twisted her body to straddle his lap and splayed her hands against his ribs, each fingertip a point of precious connection.

His hands left her hair to unknot the robe and push it off her shoulders, lifted the t-shirt underneath to feel the smooth expanse of her back. He broke off from her mouth to run his lips and tongue down her neck, lingering at the spots that he knew garnered the most response from her.

"Do we have time for this?" she panted.

"Not really," he mumbled against her skin. "Do we care?"

She actually thought for a second of all the things that still needed to happen before they had to leave for the event but then he ran his tongue through the hollow behind her ear, his lips gently suckling in its wake. "No," she replied, grasping a handful of his hair and pulling him off her neck to dive at his mouth again.

* * *

They were so late.

So, so, so very late.

But the smile that she couldn't wipe off her face made it all worth it.

She leaned forward to examine her eye makeup again, mascara wand at the ready and decided that one more swipe through her lashes couldn't hurt. As she stood back up, she caught sight of Castle standing in the bathroom door frame, fingers fidgeting with the tie in his hands.

"You know, you really should get dressed before I take off what little clothing you have on. Again."

She picked up the mascara tube, slid the wand inside and twisted the top back on. She didn't have a comeback that wouldn't make the whole thing worse. (Or better, depending on the perspective.) Also, she couldn't disagree with him as she was currently only wearing a deep plumb pencil skirt and black strapless bustier, having left off her top lest she get makeup on it.

She reached over to tug the top free of its hanger, slipped it over her head and zipped up the side before turning to face him. "Better?"

His eyes darkened and his hands stilled. "I still know what's under it." The lust in his voice turned her knees to water and it was a miracle she managed to remain standing.

"And you're going to have to wait until later to see it again." She couldn't help the huskiness in her voice, didn't want to if she was being honest. She was pretty sure her knees could be trusted now and moved to leave the bathroom. He was frozen in place, staring at her like he could devour her at any second. She tapped the tie as she brushed past him. "You should put that on."

She studiously ignored his mutter of, "I'd rather put you on," as she made her way to the closet for shoes.

Later.

* * *

Kate had been to all the book release parties in their full, glorious spectacle but none of them could have prepared her for this.

Actual red carpet all the way up the sidewalk, people waiting to be let out of vehicles instead of having a valet service and then walking inside, more photographers than she had ever seen in one place. And the fans. The screaming fans. The cacophony that they created was amazing. The sound even permeated the car, the roar a backdrop for her rapidly beating heart.

"So, I'll sell you to everyone I can, most of the LA entertainment types won't care so much about the romance angle, they'll just want the man behind the words but the NYC gossip columnists will be all over the two of you. Especially the ones that I dropped a tidbit to this morning." Paula grinned wolfishly, pleased with herself for thinking ahead. "I know I've said it before but so that we go over it again, you say as little or as much as you want, Kate. If they're getting too pushy, nod at me and I'll end the interview."

"Thank you, Paula." The words weren't accurate to convey the gratitude Kate felt for how amazingly supportive Castle's publicist had been through this process.

"No, honey, thank you. I finally have something for him that I can shout from the rooftops instead of trying to keep out of the press."

"Hey now," Castle protested weakly, but he already knew that he would never win that argument. The other occupants of the vehicle chuckled at him but then Kate's lips were pressed to his cheek and he didn't care that it was a move laced with pity, he'd take whatever he could get from her. He turned his head and stole a quick kiss.

"Whoa buddy, save that for later," she chastised in a teasing tone.

"Like out there?" He quirked his head in the direction of the carpet that they were very nearly at.

"Exactly like."

Ok, lovebirds, break it up, time to go," Paula cut in just as the car lurched to its final stop. An attendant opened the door and she slid out first.

Castle moved to follow but turned back for a moment. "You ready to do this?"

"Not really." Kate answered honestly, any bravery that she had felt earlier being eaten by the churning acid in her belly. "But let's do it anyway."

He squeezed her fingers reassuringly before sliding across the seat and stepping out of the car, extending a hand back inside in invitation. She took it and his hand was her anchor that allowed her to set her feet on the pavement and face the blinding onslaught of the paparazzi.

She was sure that the pictures would show her with a crazed grin but she couldn't help it when she considered the absolute absurdity of the situation. She was at the New York premiere of Heat Wave as Richard Castle's girlfriend.

* * *

The next couple of hours flew by in a blur of microphones and studio lighting. Paula was right, most of the LA reporters that had flown in to cover the event had little to no clue who Kate was and declined a chance to have her on camera. That was more than fine with her and she found that she enjoyed watching Castle talk to the press. He really did have an easy way with people and even the reporters that had begrudgingly agreed to talk to him were eating out of his palm in just a few short minutes.

Standing to the side with Paula had its perks as well, the woman could spot a celebrity from just the back of their head.

"Oh Kate, there's the star, Na-"

"Detective Beckett!" Natalie Rhodes sounded equally pleased and surprised.

"I see you know each other," Paula commented.

"She shadowed us for a few days back when she first got the part," Kate explained, motioning back to Castle. He was finishing the interview; she caught his eye and nodded her head at Natalie. He shook hands with the reporters and stepped over to their little knot, slid a hand around Kate's waist.

"Natalie, nice to see you again," he greeted.

"Castle, fancy meeting you here." The actress's eyes glittered with amusement as she took in their close proximity, his arm around her back.

"Natalie, we have to keep moving," a man at her side insisted and she nodded at him in acknowledgement. She leaned forward and air kissed Castle's cheek, moved to do the same to Kate but hovered a moment and muttered, "I see you're doing that research I never got around to." The actress straightened up and winked at Kate, waggled her fingers at them in goodbye as she was ushered away.

Castle's mouth was at her ear. "What was that about?"

Kate went for a nonchalant shrug. "I'm sleeping with you and she's not," she answered truthfully if enigmatically. The arm around her waist tightened and she turned to face him, raised a hand to rest on his chest.

"Yeah you are," he growled, claiming her lips for all to see. She couldn't help the smile that curved at the corners of her mouth.

"Yeah, yeah, get a room," Paula's voice broke in but they didn't jump apart, not this time. In fact, Castle pressed one more kiss to Kate's lips before turning to his publicist, one of her perfectly shaped eyebrows raised. "You done?"

Castle grinned at her. "For now."

"Well, you might wanna keep that turned up, I have The Ledger waiting to talk to both of you. You ready to make page six?" The question was directed at Kate.

She looked at Castle and found nothing but support and encouragement in his eyes. "You got this," he said softly and she flashed back to all the other usually more life-threatening times he had used those words.

Oh, this beautiful man and his unwavering support.

She took his hand in hers, squeezing in thank you before turning to Paula. "Lead the way."

* * *

As it turned out, The Ledger had managed to position itself at the beginning of a long line of New York newspapers and magazines ("So they can have the exclusives," Paula explained) and they spent the next hour making their way down the row, answering the same questions over and over.

At some point along the way, Kate realized that she was having a good time. Having attention heaped on her was not usually something that she was comfortable with but apparently, all the years of Castle's never ending scrutiny had made her somewhat immune to having eyes boring into her. She was sure that having him by her side made all the difference, they'd always been good at stringing answers together.

And then finally, finally, they were shaking the last hand, walking away from the last reporter. Kate's cheeks hurt from smiling so much but she couldn't seem to stop.

"You had fun." Castle accused playfully.

She nodded at him, eyes alight. "It really is nice to be able to talk about this, us. You know I've never been one to broadcast my life but," she paused, raised a hand to cup his cheek, felt the heat of his palms on her hips, "I'm proud to be with you, to be your partner in every sense of the word. And I don't care who knows." She moved to kiss him and he met her halfway. They drank each other in, their love on display for anyone or no one, it didn't matter.

* * *

Castle brought the paper into bed the next morning and they turned to Page Six together. Despite all the posing stations they had stopped at down the red carpet, the picture that appeared in print was from the end of the line of interviews they'd done. They hadn't even noticed the flash as they kissed, so immersed in each other as they were.

Castle contacted the paper and ordered a print of the photo, framed it and kept it on his desk.

* * *

_Spleen Chakra_

_Colour Association: Orange_

_Sanskrit Name: Svadisthana_

_Location: Below navel, lower abdomen_

_Lesson: Feelings—The right to feel. Connected to our sensing abilities and issues related to feelings. Ability to be social and intimacy issues._

_Imbalances: Eating disorders. Alcohol and drug abuse. Depression. Low back pain. Asthma or allergies. Candida & yeast infections. Urinary problems. Sensuality issues as well as impotency and frigidity._

_Spleen Stimulants: Hot aromatic baths, water aerobics, massage. Embracing sensation (such as different food tastes). Orange food & drink. Orange gemstones and orange clothing. Using orange oils such as melissa or orange essential oils._

* * *

AN: This is my second favorite chapter, I'd love to know what you think.


	3. Yellow - Manipura

**Yellow - Manipura**

* * *

The first case wasn't too hard to deal with but it was obvious that it rattled Castle. The victim was an eighteen year old girl with shoulder length hair the color of his daughter's. The hair color and age were where the similarities ended, however. Elizabeth Masterson (Betsy to her family) had never been a great student and dropped out of high school her junior year but had gone back for her GED a few months ago. She had no job to speak of but played bass guitar for a few different weekend bands. It had been one of those band mates that found her in the alley next to the apartment building they both lived in, if you could call the closet sized room that she lived in an apartment. In a fit of emotion, her father admitted to getting angry at her for leaving her family and confronted her on the sidewalk. She tried to take the alley to get away from him and he shoved her, her head striking the steel trash dumpster as she fell. When the girl didn't move, he ran out of panic.

Everyone knew that it was nothing like Castle and Alexis but everyone also knew that no amount of telling the man that would make him feel better.

The second case rattled both of them. A couple shot dead in their home, Amanda James and Adam Sable, she was a freelance writer, mostly travel magazines, and he was in private security. The tiny cameras that Adam had installed gave them an exact picture to work from and they quickly tracked down a man whose ex-wife Adam had body guarded during divorce proceedings. Backed into a corner by evidence, he confessed to the whole thing, saying that he didn't like the way Adam had looked at his ex-wife. He didn't know about Amanda and when she happened to be home as well, she became collateral damage.

Adam and Amanda weren't them. The gender roles were flipped, he wasn't a real cop, she wrote fluff pieces about tourist must-do's in New York City. But it was right on the heels of the previous case and it was enough to shake Beckett and Castle. People stopped by to congratulate them after the case was closed but most avoided eye contact as they did. So, everyone else had noticed too.

The third case was the pinnacle of the trifecta. A paralegal was found a few blocks from the firm where she worked, shot dead in an alley. She left behind her loving husband and 19 year old daughter, the girl having recently finished her first year of college at UCLA. If that wasn't bad enough, all the evidence led to the murder being gang related, most likely an initiation. The gang taskforce was involved and it was well accepted that the wall of silence and knowing smirks from interviewed gang members meant that they were to blame. But with no hard forensic evidence to back that up, there was nowhere else to go with the case. No one liked the answer, but everyone accepted it.

Everyone except for Beckett.

Their little team was ensconced in the conference room, the argument having gotten heated enough that they moved it out of the bullpen. It was firmly three against one but Castle sat back and let the boys try to talk some sense into her with cop logic. They were failing.

"That family deserves answers!" she exclaimed. Again. Her go-to discussion point had made so many appearances that Castle had lost track. And with that particular utterance, his patience broke.

It was time to call out the elephant in the room.

"Kate." Her name came out in a harsh bark and three heads snapped to him simultaneously. "She's not your mother. That girl's not you. That man isn't your father." He tried his best to keep his voice at an even, non-threatening tone but he heard the hard edge to the words.

Ryan and Esposito slowly sank into the chairs that had been forgotten behind them, careful to not make any sudden moves.

Beckett shifted on her feet and crossed her arms over her chest. "You think I don't know that?" she asked, her voice dripping with ice. To Castle's credit, he didn't flinch.

"No, I know that you know that but I'm not sure you believe it."

"What does that mean?"

He made an effort to soften his tone. "You're taking it too personally."

"Maybe I am," she replied, her admittance laced with defiance. "But why shouldn't I? Why shouldn't I let that fuel me to find the answers?"

"Because we already have one." He held up a hand to her to stay the retort she opened her mouth to give. "And it sucks. No one in this building disagrees that it sucks. But do you have any other leads? Anythingelse that would point to something different?"

She released a breath on a long huff and dejectedly dropped into a chair. "Nothing…concrete." There was still protest in her tone.

"Kate, do you have _anything_?"

Her eyes were fixed on the table in front her. "No."

"And you know that if you did, we'd all be helping you chase it down. But all the evidence points to them."

"Not enough of it," she muttered.

"We're in agreement on that." He stood and came around the table to sit next to her. She was picking at a loose edge of veneer with her thumb nail, he reached out and took her hand in his, relieved when she not only allowed him to but threaded their fingers together. "Hey," he murmured. "Look at me." She raised watery eyes to his. "You're not those lazy, dirty cops that handled your mom's case. You're not writing this one off because you don't want to do the work. You did your job and you came to a crappy conclusion. And one day, when that gang falls apart and one of the members wants to narc on his brothers, you'll reopen the case and finish it and get that family justice."

All the fight drained out of her at his words, his story, and she drooped forward, her forehead thudding against his shoulder. He released a relieved sigh and nodded at Ryan and Esposito, the other detectives shot him grateful looks before standing to leave.

At the door, Esposito turned back. "We got the paperwork. Go home."

"Thanks." Castle gave him a tired smile. Esposito nodded in acknowledgement and slipped out of the room.

* * *

They emerged a few minutes later to gather their things. Beckett's head was held high, her stride confident but to people that knew her, she was just wearing armor. Not that any of the other cops would call her out on it.

She was shutting down her computer when Captain Gates strode out of her office and headed straight for her. "Beckett, I don't want to see you back here until Tuesday." The captain said it quietly but her tone made it clear that it was an order.

"Sir?" It was only Thursday now. And afternoon at that, barely 3 o'clock.

"You've had a rough time of it lately but you've pushed through and did good work. Take a break." The look on her face indicated that anything less than acquiescence would be unacceptable. "The rest of your team will be getting the same orders as soon as all the paperwork is in order," she added.

That promise spurred Beckett to respond, "Thank you, sir. See you next week," before the woman gave her a tight smile, nodded at Castle and retreated to her office again.

Beckett let out a breath she didn't realize she'd been holding, cut her eyes over to Castle and was unsurprised to find him watching her. He raised his eyebrows at her and opened his mouth to speak when a "Yo," rang out from across the room.

They turned to Esposito. "Why are you still here?"

Beckett suppressed a smile of amusement. "Afraid I'll take your paperwork away?" she shot back.

"Never. Have at." He waved a folder in her direction.

"Sorry, I gotta get going." She stood and dropped the strap of her messenger bag over her shoulder. "Maybe next time?"

"I'll hold you to that." Esposito grinned at her and she was sure that this part of the exchange was not sarcastic.

"I'm sure you will." She shook her head at him, the smile on his face never fading. "Have a good weekend, guys."

"You guys, too" and "Bye"'s were tossed between her guys as she turned to leave, knowing Castle would be right behind her.

He wasn't though; instead, he stepped up beside her and in a rare display of precinct PDA, laced his hand with hers. She almost shook him off (it's not that everyone didn't know by now but she was a professional) but had to admit that having his solid presence there was exactly what she needed. His warmth filled the fissures in her armor, emboldened her stride.

She'd done this walk without him before, walked out without a hitch in her step even though she felt completely shredded. She was sure that she'd have to do it again on a day that he wasn't there.

But it was so much better when he was.

* * *

The loft was quiet when he pushed the door open. Castle found he was disappointed; his mother's effervescent enthusiasm would have been a welcome, well, welcome. Kate trudged in behind him, all of the confidence she had mustered at work had melted away during the cab ride home. She immediately headed for the bedroom but he turned and snagged her by the wrist.

"Let's get out of the city for the weekend. Go pack a bag."

"I'd much rather take a nap, call in some take-out and then go to bed early."

"We can do that. You can sleep in the car, we'll pick something up before we get to the house and we'll be there in time to make it an early night. I'd much rather wake up to ocean waves than city noise, wouldn't you?"

She knew this was the point where she would usually protest, put her foot down and insist that his flight of fancy was unreasonable. Except she didn't think this one was. This city had been beating her down lately and escaping to the Hamptons for a long weekend sounded perfect.

She closed the space between them and captured his lips in a grateful kiss. "Thank you," she breathed into his mouth.

"Not an entirely selfless idea here, I need a break, too."

"We are definitely overdue for one," she agreed.

"So, go pack. I'm gonna make some calls to make sure everything's ready when we get there." He couldn't resist one more kiss before nudging her towards the bedroom.

* * *

As the lights and noise of New York City fell behind them, Kate left the tension that she'd been carrying the last few weeks behind as well.

Yeah. Definitely overdue for a break.

* * *

When they arrived, there was a pan of manicotti staying warm in the oven, two wine glasses and a bottle of red sitting on the counter. Castle made a mental note to make sure that Nick got a bonus for his attention to detail. They ate at the breakfast bar in silence, knees bumping under the counter until Castle couldn't stand the quiet and Kate's too-loud thoughts. He started googling bad jokes and found a video featuring a bespectacled man using his well-stocked bookshelf as a background telling 53 terrible jokes in under 4 minutes. The jokes were decidedly not terrible and it took them far longer than 4 minutes to make it through the video due to having to pause it to laugh.

He realized that he couldn't remember when the last time was that he had heard her laugh like that and that was not okay with him. His own laughter subsided at that sobering thought.

"I'm sorry," he blurted out.

"What for?" A confused crinkle broke out between her eyes.

"You've told me before that I make your job more fun and I haven't been very fun lately."

She shrugged, already forgiving him. "Neither of us have been. There's always a few cases that hit personally, but not usually that many of them in a row. We haven't had time to recover."

"And that's what this weekend is for."

"Thank you, by the way. It was a fantastic idea."

"I do have those occasionally." A pleased twinkle shone in his eyes.

A yawn worked its way out of her chest, cracking her jaw open. "Speaking of recovery, I don't care how early it is, I'm going to bed."

"I will put away dinner and join you shortly."

They stood at the same time, ended up bumping into each other and chuckled at their combined clumsiness. Kate used the opportunity to wind her arms around his waist and snuggle against his chest, sighing as she felt his arms loop around her back.

"Have I said 'thank you' yet?" she mumbled against his shirt.

He chuckled, dipping his head so his mouth was at her temple. "You have but you can say it as many times as you please."

She reached up and popped the top button of his shirt, pressed her lips to the newly exposed patch of skin. "Thank you," she murmured before stretching up to kiss his chin. "Thank you." Pushing up on the balls of her feet, she hovered over his lips, whispered "Thank you" one more time before kissing him, full and sweet. His arms wound tighter around her, bringing her closer, holding her up.

* * *

Kate woke the next morning to the heavenly scent of fresh brewed coffee, felt the bed dip with Castle's weight as he sat on the other side. She cracked an eyelid to find him setting a breakfast tray between them, steam curling over the tops of the cups and was that pie? She sat up and determined that yes, there were tall slices of lemon meringue pie on the tray as well.

"So much for a balanced breakfast," she commented, snagging one of the mugs off the tray.

"I found it in the fridge; Nick probably left it for dessert last night." He sounded mildly defensive but a quick glance at his face showed the little boy glee glinting in blue of his irises. He loved to help her break the rules. "Besides, it's balanced, there's grain in the crust, fruit in the filling, dairy in the meringue."

"Eggs aren't dairy," she shot back as she settled her mug back on the tray and picked up one of the plates.

His brow crinkled in adorable confusion before he asked, "Isn't there cream in meringue?"

"No!" she emphatically answered. "That would ruin it! In all of your culinary adventures, you never made meringue?"

"Stuck to main dishes mostly, didn't get into desserts more than cookies and cupcakes that Alexis would take to school. And the cupcakes were usually from a box mix."

"Well, let me teach you then." Kate sat up a little straighter, used her fork to point at the mountain of fluffy white that dominated the wedge of pie on the plate. "Meringue is nothing more than egg whites and sugar, whipped until it stands in stiff peaks. Don't, it's too easy." She pointed the fork at him before going back to her lesson. "Some people will put a little cream of tartar in as well but my mom always said that it changed the texture; I couldn't ever tell the difference. And as for your claim of balanced, there is tons of sugar in every layer of this thing, so don't think for a second that I'm falling for that." She speared the fork into the pie, pulled off a bite and slid the confection into her mouth. Her eyes fluttered shut as the fork withdrew from her lips, a low moan rumbling in her throat. "We've been here how many times and you've never introduced me to this pie before?"

"I'll never make that mistake again."

She opened her eyes to find his fixated on her, darkened with lust but somehow also softened with love at the same time. He rose on his knees, planted his hands on either side of her thighs and placed a rather chaste kiss to her lips though he followed it with a flick of his tongue, tasted the sweet tartness of their breakfast on her.

"Hey, get your own," she scolded.

He settled back on side of the bed, the corners of his mouth quirked up, and picked up the other piece of pie but paused, his fork hovering. "Thank you."

It was her turn to be confused. "For?"

"Trusting me enough to be willing to just go for a weekend away on a whim. Teaching me about meringue minutes after you wake up. For being you."

She ducked her head, trying to hide the shy smile in a long practiced move that she couldn't break herself of. When she looked back up, he was slicing off a bite of pie with his fork, studiously not looking at her but smiling to himself, a closed-lipped thing that emphasized the parentheses of his mouth.

"Thanks for being you, too," she said softly and went back to her breakfast.

* * *

The weather held out for them, the late spring sun providing a wonderful opportunity to lounge by the pool and soak in its heat, allow its rays to burn away any lingering tension. Lemon became a theme; Castle spent most of the weekend trying to get a lemon drop martini to match the taste of the pie. It took twenty-six tries and the purchase of another pie but he finally managed to get it right.

* * *

Kate wasn't sad to leave at the end of the weekend. The time away had been restorative and she was feeling confident and ready to get back into work, ready to start the hunt for answers again.

Though the lemon bar that Castle dropped on her desk with the cup of coffee didn't hurt.

* * *

_Solar Plexus Chakra_

_Colour Association: Yellow_

_Sanskrit Name: Manipura_

_Location: Above the navel, stomach area_

_Lesson: Personal power–The right to think. Balance of intellect, self-confidence and ego power. Ability to have self-control and humor._

_Imbalances: Digestive problems, ulcers, diabetes, hypoglycemia, constipation. Nervousness, toxicity, parasites, colitis, poor memory._

_Solar Plexus Stimulants: Taking classes, reading informative books, doing mind puzzles. Sunshine. Detoxication programs. Yellow food & drink. Yellow gemstones and yellow clothing. Using yellow oils such as lemon or rosemary essential oils._

* * *

**AN: The video mentioned is Hank Green of Vlogbrothers' "53 Terrible Jokes" and I HIGHLY recommend it. youtu . be / hTR2tVr2a6A**

**Also, I'm on tumblr (my url is the same as this user name) and would love to connect with folks there.**

**And of course I would love to know your thoughts on this more quiet and subdued chapter. (Fair warning, next one's a roller coaster.)**


	4. Green - Anahata

**Green - Anahata**

* * *

"We, the people, find the defendant, William Hamilton Bracken, guilty on all charges"

The courtroom erupted in cheers, the families of all the people whose lives this man had destroyed finally able to celebrate justice. Kate Beckett turned to her father and was immediately enveloped in a strong hug.

"You did it, Katie," Jim choked out. "You got him."

She hugged her father even tighter but he was already making the move to let her go.

"But you didn't do it alone," the older man said as he nodded behind her.

Kate turned to find the other important man in her life standing more quietly than she thought possible for Castle. His smile was beaming, every bit of love and pride that he possessed for her shining bright for all to see. He placed a hand on her hip to tug her to him but she was already throwing herself bodily into his arms. They collided in a rush of air and the words came rushing out on their volition.

"Marry me."

It wasn't said as a question. It was more like an inevitability.

They both went stock still, clearly neither was expecting that.

"I didn't mean to do that. I wanted to talk to you tonight no matter how the trial went but we're here and I just…I mean it though. I really do."

Kate pulled back to find a mélange of emotions on his face. Shock, most certainly (she could sympathize there), but also some fear and…disappointment? "Castle? I need to know what you're thinking here. Is this why you talk so much, just trying to fill the blank space?" She forced out a laugh at herself but his face didn't move. Her blood ran cold as he kept up the silence as well. "Castle?" Her voice was far more thready than she'd like but she was well and truly scared now.

Over the din, the judge was banging his gavel to try to regain some order and that seemed to be the thing that brought Castle back to the present.

"We'll talk about it in a minute," he gruffed out, pushing gently on her shoulder to encourage her to sit. She looked behind her to make sure she got the right spot but when she sat down, he wasn't at her side. She turned to see the last of his suit jacket sailing out the courtroom door.

"Everything okay?" Jim asked, placing a hand on arm.

"I don't know," Kate answered honestly.

"What happened?"

"I might have just proposed." She said it absently, her eyes still on the door at the back of the room. As such, she missed her father's literal jaw drop but Jim was more surprised at the timing than the event and pulled himself together and reached up to turn her face to his.

"Knowing Rick, he has a ring ready just for this occasion. He'll be back." He patted his daughter's arm reassuringly and damned it if didn't work, some of her anxiety faded but not by much. Kate turned her attention to the judge but his words didn't permeate her haze and soon she was standing with her father as Bracken was led out a side door in shackles, releasing a breath she didn't even know she was holding as the door closed.

And Castle was still gone.

She embraced her father briefly. "I have to go find him."

"Love you, Katie."

"Love you, too."

She started to walk away but from behind her, heard, "Oh and Kate?" She turned to find Jim with a bemused smile on his face. "Congratulations."

She grimaced, "I didn't even get an answer."

This time, Jim really was shocked.

* * *

Castle was nowhere to found in the courthouse.

She called him first, got voicemail and hung up without leaving a message. She almost texted him but decided that she wanted to hear his voice, so she called again. No answer but this time she waited for the beep.

"Hey, I can't find you at the courthouse but there's a lot of people here. Give me a call to let me know where you're at?" Yeah, start there. Give him a chance to explain.

He had five minutes to call before she would start spinning crazy theories. She walked the main hall again, used the bathroom, took time washing her hands and then marched out front hoping to find him waiting on the steps. But he wasn't there.

Still no call.

She tried one more time, hung up before she could hear him crow "lucky you" again. She pulled up her text messages, typed out _Where are you?_ and hit send before she could punctuate the request with threats of bodily harm.

She had apparently passed over into angry without realizing it. She marched out to the sidewalk determined to…catch a taxi? Head for the subway? Wait for him? She didn't even know where she should go next.

Her phone buzzed in her hand and she almost dropped it out of surprise. _I'm at home. I just need some time._

_For what? _She tapped out the words and sent them before she even really knew what she was doing. She thought she knew him, everything about him. She never thought that proposing marriage was something that would have him looking at her in horror and literally running away.

_To figure things out._

Fuck this, she needed to talk to him. She threw up an arm and was lucky enough to have a yellow car pull up to the curb a few moments later. She slid in and gave the driver their address.

_I'm on my way. We can figure this out together. _Her finger hovered over the send button and she added _Please stay there_ before shooting the message off.

There was still no reply when the car pulled up on the block. She paid and thanked the cab driver, glad that she had asked him to drive down the block a little bit and attempted to use the short walk to formulate a plan.

She had no plan by the time she got to the building because, seriously, how can you plan for something that you don't understand?

"Detective Beckett," Eduardo greeted her as she entered.

She could only manage a smile in response but then asked, "Mr. Castle is here, isn't he?"

The doorman only allowed confusion to flicker on his face for a moment before replying, "Of course he is," in the friendly, professional voice that she was used to hearing.

"Thanks," she quirked her lips in what she hoped was a smile.

She opted for the stairs, again hoping that some magical plan would pop into her mind. No such luck. And now here she was. Outside the door to the place that she called home, a place that she could have walked right into but suddenly felt completely alienated from. She knocked.

All of her anger melted when Castle swung the door open. He was disheveled, shirt untucked, hair askew, eyes red rimmed but cheeks dry. He looked like hell.

"Why did you knock?" His voice was rough. Shit, he had definitely been crying.

"I didn't know if you even wanted me here."

"It's your home, too." He stepped back from the door, giving her space.

She took the invitation and stepped inside, set her bag on the side table but kept her coat and shoes on. "You ran out so fast, I didn't even know if you'd want to see me right now."

He completely deflated, shoulders drooping, chin tucked to his chest, arms heavy at his sides. He shuffled off in the direction of the office. "Take your coat off, Kate, stay a while," he said sardonically as he went.

The anger flared back to life but she did as he suggested, shrugged out of her coat and hung it up in the front closet then moved to the couch to tug off her boots before joining him. He was sitting behind his desk, swirling whiskey around in a glass. He pointed to matching glass sitting on the front of the desk and she picked it up if only so her hands were occupied and moved to perch on the loveseat in the corner.

She tried to let him talk first, she really did, but when she counted out a slow five and he was still staring at the contents of the glass in his hand, she couldn't help it.

"Why is the idea of marrying me enough to have you literally fleeing?"

His head snapped up and wide, startled eyes met hers. "You think…that's not…" he stammered and then stopped himself on a sigh. "That's not what happened." He took a deep breath, seemed to steel himself to speak again. "I don't want to fail you."

Her brow furrowed, nose crinkling in confusion. "I don't understand."

He stood up from the desk, left his glass behind. He walked over to her, plucked the glass from her hand and set it on a side table before sitting next to her. "Being with you for the rest of our lives sounds amazing and I am more than willing to say yes to that. But marriage? I'm not any good at that."

"I don't see what the difference is."

"I'm pretty good at a lot of things: I'm a great writer, father, son, partner. But husband is the one thing that I am an unequivocal failure at. And, Kate, the last thing I want to do is fail at that with you. Because I would never forgive myself."

It was everything in her to not laugh because this, THIS, is what he was worried about?

"You think _you're_ the reason those marriages failed?" She had to bite her cheek to not crack up at the "well, duh" look that he shot at her. "Castle, I've met those women and those marriages never had a chance. You have to work at a relationship and isn't that what we do every day? We push each other do better and be better but we don't force the other into situations they don't want to be in. We trust and respect each other. We talk openly and honestly about our feelings. And I think you'll agree that it's that last one we've worked hardest at." Her lips quirked up in a smile at that and she was beyond relieved to see his do the same for a moment. "We work at it because it's important to us. We work at it because _we're_ important to us. I have no doubt that you loved Meredith and Gina in your own way but can you really say that either of those relationships had the things that ours does?"

His answer was quiet. "No relationship has had what ours does." She reached out and took his hand, twined their fingers together.

"Exactly. To me, marriage shouldn't change a relationship, it doesn't actually make it different. People who say that the first year of marriage is the hardest are ones that didn't work on their relationship until it was 'official.' Why should a piece of paper make you treat the person you love any different? Why should you being a great partner mean that you'll be any different as a husband?"

He cocked his head, considering her words.

"I don't know if you remember, but a long time ago, I told you that I'm a 'one and done' type when it comes to marriage."

"I remember." Of course he remembered, he filed every detail of her away.

"This is what I was talking about. Everything has to be in place before it's something I'll consider. And it's never been in place like this before. A few years ago, when that documentary crew followed us around, you told me that you wanted them to see what you see. You worked to show me how extraordinary you believe me to be. Well, this is what I see about you, a man that is the most amazing partner that I could ever hope to find. You are exactly what I needed when I didn't even know I needed it." Her voice was starting to shake, tears welling her eyes. If he didn't understand, if he didn't see what she meant, she had no idea how she would survive this.

She willed herself to wait him out, to let him get there in his own time. But just as she was thinking that it would be best if she left now, he spoke. "You make it really hard to say no."

"Do you want to?"

"No."

Her heart picked up speed and hope flared hot in her chest. "So don't." She took a breath and dove. "Marry me."

He reached out for her other hand, cradled their joined hands over his heart and softly answered, "Yes, Kate."

* * *

_Heart Chakra_

_Colour Association: Green_

_Sanskrit Name: Anahata_

_Location: Center of chest_

_Lesson: Relationships–The right to love. Love, forgiveness, compassion. Ability to have self-control. Acceptance of oneself._

_Imbalances: Heart and breathing disorders. Heart and breast cancer. Chest pain. High blood pressure. Passivity. Immune system problems. Muscular tension._

_Heart Stimulants: Nature walks, time spent with family or friends. Green food & drink. Green gemstones and green clothing. Using green oils such as eucalyptus or pine essential oils._

* * *

**AN: Oops, I let my bias for Kate being the one to propose show. Again. This is my favorite chapter. It was the only one that I knew exactly what it was about as soon I read about the chakra.**

**Also, there were no reviews to the last chapter and I'm hoping that people are still enjoying this. I would love very much to know what you think.**


	5. Blue - Visuddha

**Blue - Visuddha**

* * *

She tripped over the damn suitcase.

It had already been a long day, Beckett and the boys caught a double homicide mid-morning and still had nothing concrete when they called it quits at eleven o'clock at night. None of the witness interviews revealed anything helpful, anyone who might have been some bit of a suspect quickly alibied out. They had done lots of work, but with no promising leads, still had nothing to show for it. And Castle hadn't been there all day, he had more meetings with Black Pawn for…something. The next book? She couldn't remember exactly but there had been a lot of them lately. Which meant a lot of cases without her partner. If she was honest with herself, that might have been adding to her bad mood.

Tonight, all she wanted was a too-hot shower and to climb into bed. But she tripped over the damn suitcase sitting in the entryway, couldn't steady herself fast enough to remain upright and collided with the floor, right hip and elbow taking the brunt of the fall. She rolled onto her back, cradling the throbbing elbow with her left hand, cursing the tears that sprung in her eyes. It was just a damn fall, nothing to cry over.

Castle's inelegant footfalls hurried toward her. "Kate? You okay?"

"Yeah," she grunted, jaw clenched against the pain. "Just need a second." He kneeled beside her, ran a hand gently through her hair, the other on her uninjured hip. The sharp edge of the hurt ebbed after a minute and she made the move to sit up, felt Castle's hand at her back. She flexed her elbow a few times, wincing at the movement. Yeah, that was going to bruise.

"You need ice?" he asked, his voice gentle.

"Probably should. Help me up?"

He reached down and pulled her shoes from her feet, tossed them next to the suitcase before gripping her offered hand and hauling her to her feet. He tucked her into his side and lead her to the kitchen, nudged her towards the stools at the breakfast bar. "Sit," he quietly commanded before moving to the freezer. He came back with a bag of peas and kitchen towel, arranged them on the counter and then gingerly lifted her arm to rest on the bag of vegetables. She hissed at the chill but it would definitely help.

She raised her eyes to his, the corners of her mouth lifting in a small smile. "Thanks."

"You're welcome. Hey, by the way, hi." He leaned over and pressed a soft kiss to her lips. She hummed into the sensation, raising a hand to his cheek to keep him there when he went to pull away. She kissed him again, once, twice, before dropping her hand from his face.

He hauled himself up on the barstool beside her. "I'm sorry, too, about that," he said, waving a hand towards the suitcase.

"What's that doing there anyway?"

"I know, I should have put it over to the side a little more. Actually, I should have left it in the bedroom because I'm sure I'll wake up in the middle of the night remembering things that I've forgotten to pack."

"No, I mean, what's it doing out at all?"

His face contorted in confusion. "You're kidding right?"

"Noooo." She drew the word out, irritation lacing the vowels.

"You really don't remember?"

"Castle, no, I don't. Just tell me." Her patience was very quickly coming to an end.

He looked at her a moment longer, willing her to remember so that he didn't have to drop this bomb but gave up and sighed out, "European book tour."

"What?!" she exclaimed, the word echoing around the kitchen. Castle winced. "How long?"

"Three weeks." Kate's jaw dropped open. "I've been in meetings all month nailing down the itinerary. We've talked about this."

"No, I don't think we have." She hopped off the stool, ignored her hip's protest and moved around to the other side of the counter. She just meant to get some space but she couldn't stand still and started pacing the length of the kitchen.

Castle willed his mouth not to move, tried so hard to be silent but he wasn't taking the fall for this. "I know I've brought it up more than twice." He knew it sounded defensive but that's certainly how he felt.

She stopped and narrowed her eyes at him. "This is my fault?"

"I tried putting it on the calendar on your phone but you keep changing the passcode on me."

"Because it's mine and you never stay out of my stuff."

"But we could be avoiding this exact conversation if you had let me. In fact," his voice rose, indignation in his tone. "I'm scratching my head as to why we're having it because I know that I've talked about going to London and Paris and Barcelona and Rome and Amsterdam and other places that I can't even remember right now."

Kate tried, she really tried to remember because shouldn't she remember something as big as this? But nothing sounded familiar. "I thought the meetings were for the next book."

"Some of them, the short, easy ones in the afternoons were. But the all-day ones that I would come home exhausted from? Were about this. They wanted me to do six weeks and I said no, we've been trying to figure out how to shorten it and got it down to three."

"Yeah, I remember that, you'd come home exhausted, you'd blow off my questions, ask me not to talk about it, then we'd eat dinner and watch some mindless TV before bed."

"I…no. Did I really?" He thought about it for a second. "But then we'd go to bed and I'd talk about how even though figuring the scheduling out was annoying, I was excited to go to places I hadn't been in a while or places I'd never been at all. We talked about your semester abroad and the trips you've taken. We talked about it."

"While I was trying to go to sleep?"

"Well, yeah. But you participated in the conversation."

"While I was trying to go to sleep."

He slumped back in his seat. "You really don't remember."

"You really never told me."

He huffed exasperatedly. "Yes, I did."

"Whatever." She let out mirthless chuckle and walked out of the kitchen and through the living room.

"Kate, wait up," she heard him call as she reached the office, his footsteps still fell heavily behind her as she maintained her trajectory and cut through the office to the bedroom. She went straight to the jewelry box on the dresser, placing her gun, badge and watch inside.

He was perched on the edge of the bed when she turned around. "What?"

"Something clearly went wrong here, we fucked up."

"We?"

He ignored her jab and continued. "Maybe I didn't say it in the right way or at the right times but I did say it. And you didn't hear it and I don't know how that happened but none of this changes the fact that I am getting on a plane to London tomorrow and I don't want to leave with this between us."

"Castle, I'm exhausted. I just want to take a shower and go to sleep. I don't have it in me for this right now."

He felt utterly defeated, dropped his shoulders and closed his eyes, ran a hand over his face. "Fine, go shower."

By the time he looked up, she was already gone.

* * *

Castle was in bed when Kate came out of the bathroom. He was curled on his side, his back towards the middle of the mattress, comforter pulled up under his chin. He looked like he was trying to make himself the smallest possible target.

The warmth of the shower had helped somewhat, released a lot of the tension from her muscles but her head was still muddled. Though she had to admit that Castle was partially right. He had been talking about Europe for a while now. Had she really not listened hard enough to realize when the trip was? Or had he just talked about it in general with no specific details? She honestly wasn't sure.

The one thing that she was clear on though was that she also didn't want him leaving with a fight looming over their heads.

She slid into bed behind him, her chest against his back, a leg draped over his hip and an arm around his waist. She was pretty sure that he wasn't sleeping and had that suspicion confirmed when he tangled their fingers together and drew their hands up to rest over his heart. He let out a deep breath, the exhalation laced with relief.

"You're right," she whispered at the back of his neck. "We fucked up. And you've already not been at the precinct for the last few weeks and now I won't see you at work or at home for a few more and I just…panicked."

He shifted to roll over and she moved only far enough to allow him some space but not so much to break contact. They ended up with tangled limbs; legs pretzeled together, arms banded around each other's backs.

"I can't figure out what went wrong." He whispered it as though it were a confession, his voice contrite. "I keep going over the last few weeks and I just don't know."

"Me too. I'm wracking my brain and I just…" She shook her head. "I don't know either."

"You awake enough to talk about this?"

"Yep. I want to, in fact."

"Good. Let's figure out how to avoid this in the future. Do me a favor?" She hummed in question and he continued. "When I come home in a shitty mood from a meeting, you should make me tell you the most important parts but I don't have to talk about the whole thing."

"Sounds fair. We need to sync the calendars on our phones, too. We keep talking about it but if we had done it, then I would have known what those meetings were and would have seen the trip scheduled. I don't know why I've been stubborn on that, sorry."

"It's a plan."

She sighed with a realization. "You leave tomorrow." She knew it sounded whiny but she was beyond mentally exhausted and couldn't find it in her to care.

"I wish you could come with."

"Well, if I had known…" She said in a teasing lilt. He groaned. "Too soon?"

Castle nodded. "A little bit."

"Sorry," she murmured, snuggling closer, their shared warmth lulling her towards sleep.

"Kate," he stage whispered, the hiss of her name rousing her temporarily.

"Hmmm?"

"I love you."

She hummed a pleased sound, barely managed to push past the heavy curtain of sleep to mumble, "Love you" and then dropped into the black, cocooned in his arms.

* * *

A week later, she came home to find a new plant sitting on the breakfast bar, soft purplish-blue petals of a geranium waiting on her.

"Delivered for you today, dear," Martha informed her. "I am hoping that it's not because my son put his foot in his mouth. Again."

"We both did," Kate answered, plucking the card from the stake.

"At least you can admit it," Martha tossed over her shoulder as she ascended the stairs.

"_Constantly talking isn't necessarily communicating." (I will endeavor to remember this in the future.) _was neatly printed on the card in Castle's handwriting. How in the hell had he managed that? They barely slept a few hours before he had to go to the airport and she had decided to come see him off so it's not as though he had had time to stop by a florist.

She calculated the time difference and banking on the hope that he was still jet lagged, called him.

"Kate?" he slurred a few rings later.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to wake you."

"No, it's ok, you get the plant?"

"What if that's not why I was calling?" she teased.

"I tracked it online, I know it got delivered today. Well, your today, my yesterday. I'm in the future." He paused a second. "I'm not really awake."

She smiled at his bumbling grogginess. "I noticed. What's the future like?"

"Lame. No flying cars."

She laughed at that, suddenly fiercely missing him. "How'd you pull off the card?" she asked instead.

"Slipped it to the doorman before I left, asked him to swap it out when the delivery came."

"Devious," she murmured.

"I have my moments."

"That you do. Why a geranium though?"

"I wanted to send a plant because I wanted to be able to appreciate it when I came home, so a bouquet was out. That was one of the only flowering plants that the florist had and in my research I found 2 meanings for geraniums that seemed appropriate. First is that they promote peace of mind and that seems like something I would always wish for you but the other is that it represents stupidity or folly and I was certainly feeling like a stupid fool when I was placing the order."

"You know it was both our faults, right?"

"Yeah, but," he sighed across the line. "The card, I mean that. Just because I'm talking doesn't mean that you're committing everything to memory and I need to make sure that I'm letting you know when the important things are being said."

"And I can work on actually hearing what you're saying instead of just listening to you talk."

"You mean you don't hang on my every word?" he gasped melodramatically.

"Nope, I leave the creepy, stalker-like behavior up to you."

"I left that door wide open for you, didn't I?"

"Yeah, you pretty much did." A grin split her cheeks. And that flare of missing him was back.

"I miss you."

"There you go with the being creepy again, I was just about to say that." She tried to keep her voice light but knew that her words were laced with longing. She dropped into one of the chairs at the breakfast bar, slid the flower over in front of her. "The geranium's beautiful, I can't wait for you to see it."

"I can't wait to see you."

"One third of the way there. We can make it."

"Any chance that you have vacation time you can take off when I get back?"

"And what makes you think that I didn't already ask for that the day that you left?" she replied smugly.

"I love you so much."

"I love you." She pressed the phone against her cheek, wishing desperately that it was his hand instead. "You should go back to sleep."

"Yeah," he said reluctantly. "Tomorrow's an early day. I'll see you soon, Kate."

"Not soon enough."

"Not soon enough," he echoed.

She sighed, knew that drawing this out would only make it more difficult. "'Night, Castle."

"Good night, Kate."

She pulled the phone away and ended the call before they could get even sappier. She stood up and swept the plant into the crook of her arm, took it with her into the bedroom and set it down on Castle's nightstand. Tomorrow she'd put it by the window; tonight, it was keeping her company.

* * *

_Throat Chakra_

_Colour Association: Blue_

_Sanskrit Name: Visuddha_

_Location: Throat region_

_Lesson: Relationships – The right to speak. Learning to express oneself and one's beliefs (truthful expression). Ability to trust. Loyalty. Organization and planning._

_Imbalances: Thyroid imbalances, swollen glands. Fevers and flu. Infections. Mouth, jaw, tongue, neck and shoulders problems. Hyperactivity. Hormonal disorders such as PMS, mood swings, bloating and menopause._

_Throat Stimulants: Singing (in the shower), poetry, stamp or art collecting. Meaningful conversations. Blue food & drink. Blue gemstones and blue clothing. Using blue oils such as chamomile or geranium essential oils._

* * *

**AN: Thank you so much for the lovely words for the last chapter, I tried to reply to everyone but some people didn't have PM's enabled. But I saw all the reviews, promise. **

**I'd love to hear from you about this one as well.**


	6. Indigo - Anja

**Indigo - Anja**

* * *

Castle came out of the office to find his wife sitting on the couch, her face screwed up in thought, eyes staring but unfocused.

She was wearing her serious face. The one that she used when she started sentences with, "Hey, can we talk?" He almost backed through the door to avoid that conversation but she looked…different. Her face wasn't as serious as it seemed at first glance, there was a certain softness about her.

Never able to resist a mystery when it involved Kate Beckett, he padded over to her and softly dropped on the couch beside her. The slight jostling broke her out of the stillness and she turned to him, a smile cracking the serious mask she'd just been wearing.

"Hey," she offered.

"Hey. Everything ok?"

"Yeah." She shook her head with the word, in direct dichotomy to its meaning but the motion seemed more that she was trying to brush off the question.

He narrowed his eyes at her. "You sure?" He knew he was pushing but he'd learned when she needed that extra bump to open up.

The serious face was back, her eyes shifting to look over his shoulder. "Just…thinking," was all she offered.

"About?"

"Kevin told us that Jenny's pregnant again. A girl this time." A sweet, wistful smile lifted the corners of her mouth. "It, um, it made me think about a family of our own." Her eyes shifted back to meet his, hesitance and hope shining in the hazel depths.

"Kate," he choked out, his throat tight. He reached over to clutch at any bit of her he could get to, one hand landing on her thigh, the other on her forearm.

She leaned into him, her forehead coming against his, her hands on his shoulders.

"Are we really talking about this?" he whispered.

"I'd like to."

"Okay. But not here." He pulled away from her and pushed off the couch, grabbing a blanket as he went and held out a hand to her. "C'mon," he beckoned with a twitch of his head.

She gratefully took his hand and allowed him to haul her off the couch and towards the front door. "Roof?" She asked unnecessarily.

"Roof," he confirmed.

It had become their spot in the last couple of months. Kate had wandered up there one night when she was bored, Castle too deep into writing to notice she had left. She texted him to come find her when he came out of his haze and when he did, she was up here in an Adirondack lounge chair that had seen better days. She pulled him down to sit with her and they stargazed as well as one can in Manhattan.

The next week he bought two new chairs and they started spending a few evenings a week on what came to be known as "our roof." Sometimes it was with a bottle of wine, a few times they brought dinner up but most of the time, the second chair went unoccupied and they just lay together. And, of course, sometimes it was more than just lying in the chairs. ("Married people christen everything, Beckett!" he had told her the first time.)

Tonight, he sat down on one of the loungers, slid over to leave half of the chair for her and patted the spot next to him. Kate sat and angled her body towards him, slotting herself into his side and tossing an arm across his waist. He spread the blanket across their legs to cut the slight chill in the air and wound his arms around her.

So," he began, unable to wait to start this conversation any longer, "a family."

"Yeah. A family." The soft wonderment in her voice clenched around his heart, diffused its way in and raced through his blood.

"We've only vaguely talked about this in the past so let me be clear. I love being a father and I'd love the opportunity to raise another little person but I'm not set on it. If you don't want it or if it doesn't ever happen, I'm happy, Kate. I'm happy with just us."

She was quiet for a moment. "You know," she started, stopped just as soon. He placed a reassuring kiss on the top of her head. "I can use the excuse of my dangerous job all I want and while I do still think that that's a logical argument against having kids, it's not the real reason that I've avoided the topic." A moment stretched out but he just waited, knew that this was not of those times to force her words out.

"What if I'm a terrible mom?" The question was asked so quietly that Castle thought he might have heard her wrong. He tightened his hold around her, dropped his mouth to the crown of her head again.

"Kate, love, what would ever make you think that?" he murmured into her hair.

"You've seen how I can get, Castle. I get lost in something, don't come out of it. It's never been as serious as my mom's case again but what if I'm reading and I don't even hear a baby crying or a kid asking for something? What if I'm so into a case that I forget to pick her up from dance class or come home for dinner?"

He tried, really tried, to not laugh but he couldn't stop the chuckle that escaped. She raised her head to look at him, her eyes clearly showing how affronted she felt.

"I'm serious! It's not funny!"

"It kinda is a little. That's what you're so worried about?"

"Yes." She punctuated the word with the poke of her finger in his sternum. "It's a legitimate concern. I'm still pretty selfish to a certain degree. I did everything alone for a long time, my mom was gone, my dad was no help. I had to teach myself how to be an adult and at some point it just became easier to do it all myself. Javi's accused me of being a control freak in the past and it's only because I didn't know how to let someone else help. I never had a partner before you. Never had a successful relationship before you. I wanted to be better for you so I put in the work and I made the effort to let you in and…" she trailed off as she realized what she was saying. "I'm blowing holes in my argument now, aren't I?"

"Yeah, you pretty much are. But Kate, as you were pointing out, you're not the same person you were in your early 20's. You're not the same person that I met all those years ago. You're open and loving and I think you'd be a fantastic mom because you're willing to do whatever it takes for the people that you love."

A smile stole across her face, shy and thankful all at once. "Yeah, maybe you're right."

"Sounds like you're changing your stance."

She shook her head. "No, that hasn't changed. I want kids, Castle. I want kids with you." Her smile was more confident now, love radiating from her face.

He raised a hand to cup her cheek. "I won't let you fall. I'll be right here." His voice was soft and reverent.

The moment was so much, too much, and she had to close her eyes against the onslaught of emotions that washed over her, relief, gratefulness, fear, anticipation and, above all, love. She snuggled in closer to him, lifted the arm trapped between them to lay it across the top of his shoulder, toyed with the hair at the nape of his neck, rested her head over his heart. The hand that was on her face moved to tangle in her hair, his other hand curled around her hip.

The silence stretched, comfortable at first but progressively became heavier as her thoughts swirled between them. She had to break it, he deserved to know what she was actually talking about.

"There's another reason that I've been thinking about this. A, uh, more specific reason."

"Oh?" he questioned, trying to stay cool, trying to keep his voice light and completely failing.

"I'm late. I bought a test."

His breath was caught in his lungs as he waited for her to continue. But she didn't. Just laid there with her head on his chest. "And?" he managed to breathe out.

She lifted her head and rested her chin on his pec. "I haven't taken it. I almost did, almost hid myself in the bathroom and did it without you but I don't want to. I want you there, too."

"Why are we still out here then?" He moved to sit up but she stayed immobile against him, even laid her head back down, effectively stilling his motions. "Kate?"

She took a breath. "What if it's negative?" she breathed with the exhale.

This time he wouldn't let her push him back down and levered himself to a sitting position, bringing her with him. She basically ended up sitting in his lap but that was fine because he was not going to say this without looking at her.

"Then we go on with our lives knowing exactly what we want when it comes to kids. And we hope that it will happen. "

She nodded at him, unable to speak past the knot in her throat. He pressed his lips to her forehead, her eyes closing at the sensation and she felt a tear slip down her cheek, his thumb quickly brushed it away. She took a deep breath and slid off his lap.

"I've been putting this off for days, Castle, I need to know." She held a hand out in invitation and he took it in a mirror of what had happened downstairs.

"Lead the way."

* * *

The test was positive.

* * *

_Brow or Third Eye Chakra_

_Colour Association: Indigo_

_Sanskrit Name: Anja_

_Location: Forehead, in between the eyes._

_Lesson: Intuition–The right to "see." Trusting one's intuition and insights. Developing one's psychic abilities. Self-realization. Releasing hidden and repressed negative thoughts._

_Imbalances: Learning disabilities, co-ordination problems, sleep disorders. Depression. Thyroid imbalances, swollen glands. Fevers and flu. Infections. Mouth, jaw, tongue, neck and shoulders problems. Hyperactivity. Hormonal disorders such as PMS, mood swings, bloating and menopause._

_Brow Stimulants: Star gazing. Mediation. Indigo food & drink. Indigo gemstones and indigo clothing. Using indigo oils such as patchouli or frankincense essential oils._

* * *

**AN: A hellish first week of a new class means that I didn't get this chapter out when I wanted but the last chapter is written and will be posted in the next few days. Thanks so much for the continuing support!**

**As always, I'd love to hear your thoughts on this chapter.**


	7. Violet - Sahasrara

_AN: This chapter directly correlates to the events of the previous chapter so make sure you've read that first._

* * *

**Violet - Sahasrara**

* * *

It started as a joke. And not even a very funny one.

Castle was in the kitchen making dinner one night when Kate stormed through the door to the loft, slammed it shut behind her and immediately retreated to the bedroom.

He found her literally face down on the bed, nose to the mattress, hair curtained around her head. He considered backing out of the room and just leaving her alone, giving her some space. But he couldn't shake the feeling that solitude was not what she needed at this moment.

"Kate?" he called softly as he settled on the bed next to her hip. A muffled groan was the only reply. "You ok?" He reached a hand out to pull her hair back; her exposed eye swiveled to look at him, wet with tears.

She turned her head to lay her cheek on the mattress. "I didn't have a good day," she muttered.

Castle stretched out next to her, slid an arm under her ribs and cradled her against him. Her forehead fell against his shoulder as a warm sigh breathed through his shirt.

"You wanna talk about it?"

She was quiet for long moment. "It's stupid."

"I bet it's not."

She pulled her head back to look at him. "It is. It was just a bunch of stupid little things that snapped at my nerves until I was in a really bad mood and had to go cry in the bathroom."

"Who made you cry?"

"No one in particular. It wasn't even worth crying over, it was just…everything. I told you it was stupid." Her nose scrunched up in embarrassment and she hid her face against his shoulder again. "I blame your kid."

"_My _kid? So, it's my kid when she makes you upset?"

"Yep," her head bobbed against his shoulder. "And maybe he, still two weeks until we know for sure."

"Good point, it is usually guys that make women cry, isnt' it?"

She chuckled softly, sniffed away the last of her tears. "Exactly."

He placed his fingers under her chin, lifted her face to his and kissed her softly. "Feeling better?"

"Yeah. Thanks."

"Anytime. And hey, tomorrow's another day, there's a rainbow at the end of the storm, all of that."

"Really? Almost 30 best sellers and you just went with a cheesy platitude about rainbows to try to make me feel better?"

"Rainbows are supposed to be this beacon of hope and have pretty colors and…and…" he sputtered, completely losing his train of thought as his wife dissolved in giggles in his arms. Her laughter was contagious and soon their combined sounds were bouncing all over the bedroom, joy and relief in the reverberations.

* * *

The rainbows became a theme.

The next morning when Kate logged into her email at work, Castle had already sent her a message. No subject, nothing but a picture of a rainbow curving up from a green hill. She set the image as her wallpaper.

Her moods were all over the place and when the shift swung down, they used the word as a touchstone to know that she'll come out if it, she won't feel this way the whole time. Or even the whole day. Or the next 5 minutes. When she said it to herself at work on a day that he wasn't there, she knew it had stuck.

He tried to talk her into plastering the things all over the nursery, almost had an artist come in to paint a mural. There was some yelling but he finally agreed to the original color scheme on the condition that there can be splashes of rainbows. They dot the room subtlety: in the background of an adorable painting, one of the dangling objects on the mobile, appearing on the fabric of some of the sheets.

But then one day during her seventh month of pregnancy, Castle came to her with a plan that would make them permanent.

"I've got it! I've got her name!" he crowed as he emerged from the office, laptop in hand.

Kate slid a bookmark between the pages of Patterson's latest and watched her husband with amusement as he practically bounced over to the couch to plop down next to her.

"You're sure this time?" she asked, skepticism evident in her voice because this was not the first time that he had made a sweeping declaration about their daughter's name.

"You know, this time, I really am," he said with a confidence and seriousness that impressed her.

She leaned towards him, ready to hear what he had to say. "Okay, hit me."

"Iris."

"I'm not really wowed."

"Greek goddess of rainbows, Kate!" he exclaimed, turning the laptop to show her the Wikipedia article. "It's perfect, right?"

"You want to drag this rainbow thing all the way to her name?"

"I didn't suggest we actually name her 'Rainbow,' just something that means it. It's a beautiful name."

"It is," she agreed but couldn't hide the hesitation in her voice.

"But?"

She sighed. "This isn't a picnic for me, I have a human being growing inside me. The rainbow thing is cute but it's also a reminder that sometimes I'm not doing so great at this. I don't want to tell my daughter that we picked her name because her mommy was emotionally unstable during her pregnancy."

Castle was silent, his eyes wide with surprise. He had no idea that she felt that way. "I'm sorry," he blurted out when the quiet had shifted into uncomfortable. "I didn't mean…I just thought…"

"I know," she cut off his bumbling. "I know you didn't mean anything by it. Look, I'll think about it, okay?"

"You don't have to, I'll drop it."

"I'll think about it," she insisted.

"Okay." He says it to placate her, put her off and they both know it and allow it anyway.

He doesn't put any new names on the list they keep on the fridge, though.

* * *

They don't talk about names at all until the day their daughter is born. She didn't come without a fight, left her mother in labor for a day and a half before emerging into the world. The whole ordeal exhausted Kate and she fell asleep as soon as they got her back to the room. An administrator came in with paperwork but had to leave with the name blank still empty, the card in the nursery reading "Little Girl Castle." Kate may not have taken his name when they married but she wanted their children to have it, that much had been decided early on.

When Kate woke, Castle was sitting next to the bed in a rocking chair, a bundle of blankets cradled against his chest.

"Hey, Mommy's awake," he stage whispered to the bundle.

"I been out long?" she slurred, rubbing the heel of her hands against her eyes to push away the grogginess.

"About an hour, we've just been hanging out," he nodded his head at the mass of blankets. "You wanna hold her?"

"Only hell yes." He barked out a laugh at her enthusiasm, sobering to soothe the baby that he startled.

They moved the bed to an upright position and Castle perched next to her, facing the head of the bed. He shifted the baby to his arms and then transferred her into Kate's waiting embrace.

The blankets were practically covering her face and Kate had to push them out of the way to see her daughter for the first time. She'd had a moment in the delivery room of course but there was so much going on and the girl had been screaming her head off. So much different from this quiet moment when she could take her time to memorize her round cheeks, puckered mouth, elegant eyelashes.

The girl was magic personified. Kate's heart tumbled into love without an effort.

Kate had never been one for magic or deity but when she held her daughter, the baby's barely there weight ensconced in her arms, her existence seemed to transcend anything worldly she had ever experienced. Surely this couldn't have been something that they had done on their own, surely an omnipresent being was smiling down on them.

The light caught a tear in her eye and a rainbow flashed across her vision, splashed across the tiny girl. And she was all of them, red and orange and yellow and green and blue and indigo and violet; a joyous riot of colors.

"Iris," she murmured, ran a finger across the baby's impossibly smooth forehead.

"What?" Castle questioned, his palm sliding along her thigh.

Kate looked up at him through her tears. "Iris Johanna."

Castle reached up a hand to cup her cheek. "Iris Johanna," he repeated. "Our daughter."

* * *

_Crown Chakra_

_Colour Association: Violet_

_Sanskrit Name: Sahasrara_

_Location: Top of head_

_Lesson: Knowingness–The right to aspire. Dedication to the divine consciousness and trusting the universe. Learning about one's spirituality. Our connection to the concept of "God" or a higher intelligence. Integrating one's consciousness and subconsciousness into the superconsciousness._

_Imbalances: Headaches. Photosensitivity. Mental illness. Neuralgia. Senility. Right/left brain disorders and coordination problems. Epilepsy. Varicose veins and blood vessel problems. Skin Rashes._

_Crown Stimulants: Focusing on dreams. Writing down one's visions and inventions. Violet food & drink. Violet gemstones and violet clothing. Using violet oils such as lavender or jasmine essential oils._

* * *

**AN: Thank you so much for coming with me on this journey, I hope you've enjoyed reading as much as I've enjoyed writing. I'd love to know what you think of this final chapter.**

**Special thanks to my nephew, Gavin, for teaching me what effortless love feels like.**

**I haven't mentioned in a while that I'm on tumblr, same name as here. I'd love to fangirl with you all there.**


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